i’m seven years old, waiting to get old. i can’t wait to make my own decisions: eat sweets before lunchtime, buy every barbie out there, run outside when i want to. i can’t wait to be old.
i’m fourteen years old, waiting to get old. i cannot wait to be myself finally: be independent without my parents, wear what i want, go to every place i want to, say every curse word i want to. i can’t wait to be old.
i’m seventeen years old, scared of getting old. i’m scared of becoming eighteen years old: to go to university by myself, having to move out by myself, to pay all the bills i don’t even know how to, to be adult which seems so tiring and stressful. i don’t want to get old.
i’m eighteen years old, trying to enjoy my youth while it’s here. i’m taking the most while i can: taking spontaneous trips to my grandma, going to the cinema at 10 in the evening, listening to all the mellow albums i can, dancing in the grass, wearing all the dresses i have. i’m trying to be young.
i’m all the years to come, trying not get old. i’m a little scared of death and a little scared of getting old: of being unfunny, of not smiling anymore at beautiful sunsets, of not enjoying myself anymore, of not understanding children anymore, of not being myself anymore. i’m young and old and everything in between. i'm accepting being that.