I pretend like I've lived a life
like everyone else
instead of spending days laying in bed
thinking of death and dying
I tell these "white lies" and nod,
in these coversations
I am not me
I'm just listening
pretending to be normal
I am not, I feel I've barely lived
Maybe in books and movies
but not mine
not these past three years
oh dear, I can't bear to think what you would think
if I actually said everything honestly
and didn't just go along.