I feel so tired but I cannot be still and rest.
I want to be alone, then be with friends, and
when I am with friends, I want to be left
alone.
I am aspie, I am bipolar, I am crazy, I am calm.
I have rage inside that is translated with humor,
I am very smart with gifted observations
not even the brilliant
can find.
This phase of anxiety intriguing my thoughts that
I will never make it on my own,
and my fears that my friends are buying plane tickets
and booking cruises without my knowledge
have unpacked their bags and are having foot massages
in my mind.
It is not true,
it is temporary,
it is not all about me,
I want my circle to be all about
happiness and trust,
compassion and gratitude,
pictures of natural poses
no ******* in the cheekbones nor do we
put on any light filters of black and white or
neon orange and green.
I feel so tired but I do fall asleep to practice
doing what I need to do for me.
I will spend equal time alone and out together,
I am strong, I have power, I am kind, I am titled as a
friend, sister, daughter, employee, ex-girlfriend, client,
intern, volunteer, but most of all,
human.
No human was ever and is ever made to be perfect.
It is normal to be depressed and reach out in need.
Don’t take your life,
just take your time,
and if you must play the game by your own rules,
do it until you function like the newest machine, iphone,
or crazy new invention that trends.
New rules build new trends and thoughts in our minds.
Shall we stay in a learning world and learn?
Sounds like a good plan.
We are enrolled for the same
purpose.