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Jul 2018
I’ll have the usual
Eggs
Sunny side up,
Crispy hashbrowns,
One sausage one bacon.
I like the variety.
And pancakes
Hold
The
Butter.
Thank You.

I want to watch the usual.
Which usual?
I don’t know.
Perhaps our usual thriller,
Maybe even our usual comedy.
But i think today
I want the usual drama series.
The one that always
Makes me cry.
I’ll grab the popcorn.

Let’s go to our usual spot
The one in the meadow
Where the grass is the greenest
And the trees give the perfect shade.
The one where we lay our blanket
And eat sandwiches.
Mayonnaise and ham,
Your favorite.

Well, the usual
Feeling of guilt
And failure.
I feel the usual
Negative emotions.
The feeling of worthlessness
And that i
Am a failure in life.
That i’m such a burden
To those who care.
And the feeling that if
i died
Everyone’s life would be
Better.
Yes Doctor,
i’ll take the usual medication.

It’s just the usual,
That i’m spoiled
And a brat.
The usual insult of
How i’m so useless
And how horrible i am.
The usual comment of
My stupidity
And how i
Am such a horrible daughter.
So don’t worry
It’s just the usual.

The Usual
Feeling,
My chest
Tightening,
My hands
Shaking.
The usual
Tears,
Sobs,
And cries.
The usual
Pain
And thoughts.
The usual idea
Of blades
And suicide.
AC Alvez
Written by
AC Alvez  19/California
(19/California)   
95
   Jacquim Alvirez
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