a blushing van rolls to a stop.
he steps out onto the school parking lot
walks around the embarrassed bumpers
            clad in duct tape and inaccurate repaintings
brazenly
so sure he has it all.
she slides off the hood of a manicured foreign tank
hulking and onyx.

they embrace
too long
something is up
he is wary.
arms at her sides
she reaches for his lips
he does not look down
            he is wary
she leads him to the grass
his suspicion turns the green from vibrant
to synthetic
            he is wary.
they sit
across from each other
no table to negotiate over.
she is sure of the future
unsure of the way through the present
searching for words.
he prods
she speaks
she reaches for his hands
he tries to sit back on them
she catches his fingertips
            he knows.
sitting
she leaves him.
sitting
he calmly waves goodbye
and heads in another direction.
still on the grass
he
so it goes, eh?
she
hah, vonnegut.

days
weeks
months
years
jubilantly lilt by.
he is becoming a whole
looking to pair up
instead of a half
scrabbling for completion.
she takes trips
draining coffers on other continents.
in between vacations
another party
another one-word encounter
become but tallies
on a scoreboard no one reads
until
she finds him squeezed onto a full couch
tripping.
she slurs
pre-*****
hurt and frustration.
he looks at her
            he is weary.
            he was free.
            in this moment
            he is trapped
            on loop.
she stuck a fork in him
chest bleeding
it was not enough.
she honed his lust
against his pride
until
the fork
hummed a tune
only for her.
the vibrations cease
            he stops singing.
            he is hoarse.
it is over
this is overdue
he
finished with belting out
softly speaks.
she
            you just don’t say that
he
            why not?