a new innovation every year
a new innovation every year
a new innovation every year
a new innovation every

ive been losing my ability to talk
it began slowly
first when i learnt about marxism
the unspeakable irrationality of the market
a future automated to the point of economic crash
the mistakes at the top by those impartial actors
bailed out by the state
because **** the rest

i have lost my tongue
these words come out a stilted mess
second i learnt about feminism
a slow descent into western enlightenment humanism
more properly called white male privilege
more recently called the alt-right
displacement of all abject terror into a projective mockery
abasement of all cultural difference
outside critique folded into the term censorship
their own censorship labelled as transgression
the death of dialectical exchange

and before all that
the ecological crisis
when i was still a naive liberal doing a zoology degree
sitting in the library every evening
feeling a deepening resentment towards everything and everyone around me
catastrophic global warming
the cessation of all life
the automated slaughter of millions
rationalised through the same rhetoric as racism and sexism
more commonly called speciesism
thinking more and more that the most wretched species on the planet
was human beings

i dont know where im going with any of this
i dont know where i am
these words dont come easily anymore

the more i learn about the world
the harder it gets to say anything
because beyond outrage
there is silence
and a deepening feeling that nothing we do will change anything
that we’ve past the point of no return and are heading inexorably towards
death bigotry fascism patriarchy genocide war drone strikes corporate manslaughter **** transphobia terf ******* annihilation of the other platform capitalism self-regulating automatons caught in the iron cage of instrumental rationality all selves constructed through social media hegemony elevator pitch self-reflexive death of corporeality the transfiguration of the entire human species into scopophilic nightmare celebrities cramming their faces with photo-perfect steak dinners spouting anti-pc fascist ******* about how queers have never had it better and that blacks should just stop being born in poor socioeconomic environments and just work harder whilst juggling a part-time job and care work that this is the best economic system we've ever had as power shifts irrevocably into fewer and fewer hands total institution of society backhanded disdain towards any collective politics whilst reposting the same ******* reactionary memes everyone else in their collective (non)-identity group has shared where do we go? what’s left to reclaim to built to move towards mired in regressive politics the meandering subject of left politics trapped in the media apparatus of capital myself included too anxious too wretched mouth filled with cotton the tightening pull of knowing too much in an ever increasingly alienating academic jargon poststructuralist ******* that i love but am incapable of explaining where do i go? what am i doing? what the **** is happening?

there’s no way out of this