“What?
Hey let go,
Just stop it,
You can’t do this to me understand?
Help me
Help me
Please help,
Somebody.
.
You’ll regret this believe me
I’m going to ****** you.

I pity you.
You’ve consumed so many different personalities,
You’re sense of self is beginning to disintegrate, bit by bit.
And sadly,
You no longer know for sure which one of them is your true self.”
- Ep 13. K Project

I.
Where do I go from here?
Mind: “Move on.”
How can I?
Daniel,
How can we possibly find a better human than her?
“MOVE ON”
The mere thought pains me.
Heart pounding,
Blood pumping viciously.
Thoughts brew wildly calculating what I’ve done wrong.
Everything,
Negative.
How will I be able to recover from her?
She was my counterpart,
The one whom was connected to us.
We would finally have a real companion.
Finally,
For once, a real friend.
Have we ever had one, daniel?
Do you understand this pain M?

M.
Why couldn’t you have stayed?
Cherished what I offered,
And allowed me to rebuild with you,
that which I’ve aspired to share with another.
My willingness to love,
To appreciate,
To trust another,
To give another a chance like you had been given,
It has gone dormant again.
It was growing rapidly when we were together.
I was certain,
Claiming each morning before class,
This is yet another day,
I will spend with my future love.
For all our absence from each other,
I’d hoped you had waited for me.
As I had waited for you.
The other half of an illusionary love story that might actually pan out in my interest for once.
Hearing you move on,
Abandoning the trust we had been building.
It will surely cause a few nights of restlessness.
Surely another step deeper in isolation.
The cons of being an empathetic person.
I wanted you, darling.
More than any other.
But I must accept you do not desire me.
Not in a way in which I desire you.
Perhaps you do feel regret,
But not enough to change your mind,
Not enough to make you come back.
What I could have given you,
Is what I will always have on my mind.
Our laughter together,
our inquisitive chats,
our children.
Unimaginable for you, right?
Psychotic even perhaps.
That is what I saw in you, love.
I sought to grow with you,
Continue our goals,
And seek to one day be truly together.
To be in realization of my shattered dream,
Well,
I’m not sure you can imagine,
Nor can I explain.
It’s pain of a first love,
All over again.
It’s almost as if I can feel the memory paths of us slowly being erased.
Another experience with another,
Yet, I remain broken.

“Sorry for all this.
But I guess that’s that.

Don’t pretend to be sorry when you didn’t do anything to prevent it.
You knew it would come to this, and did nothing to help yourself.
This is the end, but it didn’t have to be.”