Something we both agree on
Feelings are weird
Most can be thought through
And they go away with time
A small number are persistent
And a persistent one
I feel for you
I think that I love you
But what kind of judge am I?
Maybe it's just a bit of oxytocin
Every time I see your face
Or something shallow like
Your nice ****
I don't know what to call it
But it doesn't go away

Attraction was first
But equally as powerful
Came admiration
Your intellect
Your beauty
Your ease
And when I lost you
Came jealousy
You were a winner
And I was a loser

But you know me
I'm obsessive
Intense
My desire for you
Perhaps to be you
Separate normally
Came together
Motivated me
Pushed me

But whenever I thought of you
I was ashamed
That I cared still
Embarrassed because
Life moves on
People move on
But the feeling never did

I just wanted to know
What I had to do
And why I couldn't do it
Why I wasn't enough
Maybe I annoyed you
You always thought I was full of ****
Maybe my ****'s too small
Or my legs are too skinny
Or worst of all
Maybe it's nothing really
Out of sight out of mind
Right place wrong time

The hardest part about losing
Isn't the losing
It's that I never give up
I feel the need
To pursue any chance
No matter how small
So the hardest part about losing
Isn't denial
Embarrassment
Or pain
It's the part of me
That's stubborn enough
To wait
On a phone that might never ring
A touch I might never feel
Memories I might never make