i'm hooked on the feeling of new love
the butterflies i get
the way my heart quickens at the sound of their voice
however
that feeling is always going to die
each person more temporary than the last
i've put this ideal vision of my future partner
on a golden throne
always dreaming of someone who can match up
to my unrealistic standards
but nobody is ever good enough
so i toss them aside without a moment's notice
look for ways to cut off the communication
i vanish like a ghost
as the other person can't help but wonder
why they weren't good enough for me
i can't answer this
i don't know why i live for this destruction
so it's easier to slip away into the darkness
my guilt has caught up to me now
as i type these words i can feel the pain
the pain inside others as i use them
and the pain within myself as i push them away
there must be something wrong with me
where i make a game out of someone's feelings
it's hard to imagine myself growing out of this
but i at least need to try