I’m stuck inside my mind.
This has become a toxin to me.
With every breath my lunges slowly encave.
While my heart,
Well my heart swells as if it’s going to burst,
An over inflated balloon that’s being tested to its max capacity.
Every bone,
Each tendon,
Along with all the individual muscles I’ve acquired,
Diminishing.
Slowly,
Confusingly,
Just crumbling like ash.
No matter how fast I run,
How many turns I take,
I’m still under a magnifying glass,
Tormented by demons that have constructed home within my mind.
When the thoughts take over,
It’s an endless maze.
No right answer.
No wrong answer.
Just choices.
Reactions.
Results.
Some responses more diligent and upbringing,
Contrasted by others that are draining and frustrating.
I feel flooded,
Flooded by the bodies,
Engulfed by the pavement,
Trapped by the bricks,
A constant longing to be set free from this asylum.
Still the toxin seeps into all my pours,
Every memory,
Every possibility,
Passing me by just close enough to grasp.
If caught I may fall and plummet,
I may hold on and experience.
Some days it’s as though I’m freefalling from a peak,
No lifeline,
No wings.
All the moments reflected in the hundreds of feet I circum to.
At the bottom is a mirror,
Within is a dark room filled with shadows.
Envy and jealousy constructing the walls.
Anger acting as gravity sticking my legs to the floor.
Where is the light in this toxin?
In the depths of this undesirable asylum?
The demons have pushed the angels out,
Too many heartaches,
Too many lies.
Creating broken pieces of this scattered life,
I feel strong,
I feel scared.
For I am still here,
While the broken pieces are there,
Shards of the mirror I have forever feared.
I want to be saved from this toxin.