I talk words of lust
with a boy unaware
I know not if it's unjust
if he knew that i would dare
To be touching lips with another
and another after that
3 boys who want me
and on top of that...
an ex-lover who awaits
her love to be reciprocated
by one she had wronged
by me, yes, I she has wronged.
and alas, the sister of a friend
whom i am confused upon
if i should love her or not
fool, you may think that she is the last one
another girl at school
she is but a year older
i see her from time to time
rarely i seek for her
she is but a crush
the sister, but a dream
the ex-lover - such a waste
and though it may seem
that i am an adultress
because of all these men
but judge me not
i don't belong to any of them
commit, you say
it is for the best
but if i do so again
i may have to rip out my chest
it hurts beyond words
and the pain - i may not be able to bare
and i'd have to swallow the hurt again
till i am too numb to give a care
so tell me, kind stranger, what would you do?
if you had 3 boys and 1 girl loving you
another girl, you might love
and another girl, as a crush
don't you think it's a tad bit too much?
though, i can't control it
I need to be reassured
that though my love betrayed me
this broken vessel be cured
by something more real
it has to exist
something i wont be afraid to love
something far greater than a kiss
something others cant take from me
something thats just mine
something that i can have
and keep for all time
so tell me, kind stranger, do you take me for a fool?
you think i don't know that such thing is hard to find?
that it is but impossible
because i am still so blind
i'll find my happiness
i pray to the gods i do
but only once i stop thinking of finding it
is when id find you
you. whom i have poured my heart and soul out to
without giving a rat's ***
one i'm not afraid of - i'm afraid of everything.
you, who is not wearing a mask.
if you tell me that you're right there
id lose all faith in man kind
because i know you're not
i know that now.
if you tell me you wont hurt me
don't say another word
because i know you will hurt me
i know that now.
but i can love myself
i can live for myself, too
i know that now
i don't exactly have to live for you.
it is my life
this is my world
but i'm lonely
because i'm too scared to be that broken hearted girl
the one who cried
the one who swore
and hit her lover
and walked out the door
even if i could
i wouldn't change a thing
because through this mangled heart
i can love true again
someday..