never sleeping
never calm
stress and uncertainty bubble underneath my skin
reflecting on every word you've said
where are you now
are you okay
are you alive, even
i'm just so worried about you
you've all i've ever cared about
all i've ever cherished
i've never loved anyone as much as you
and now
you've just
disappeared
no notes
not anything
at times i tell myself i'm just being paranoid
she'll show up out of nowhere
and we'll laugh
and laugh
and laugh
and maybe that's true
but i sincerely doubt it
you're gone
and i will cross mountains
sail seas
go across deserts
just to find you
i will never stop trying
even if it costs me my life
i will find you, my love
but until then
i'll just be writing poems to you
kinda futile, isn't it
writing poems to a person who might not even be alive anymore,
just with a sliver of hope
that they might find it
even though it's impossible
it's completely useless
but that's all i ever was in the first place, i suppose
never sleeping
never calm