I am overwhelmed
in a way that I am both happy and afraid
and I only want to be cautious.
I want to say that this,
this is the part where I will throw
my coldness to the ground,
be naked and vulnerable,
be the warmth that was always hidden
beneath the skin so watchful.
I want to run away,
but how do you run away
when there is no more reason for you to run?
What do you tell your legs?
What do you tell the places you haven’t touched
but promised to?
I want to stop.
I want not to dream
but to look outside and see reality waiting.
I want to look it in the eyes
and promise it that I am ready
to take back the trust and learn how to use it.
I feel vast, I feel limited.
I want my body to burn
if that means feeling the warmth,
but winter still feels like home.