Hiding my problems as a child was something I did not do
Anything and everything I felt or thought was out in the open
Now
Nothing has changed, but to an extent I leave my heart ajar.
Acquiring the knowledge to realize that doing this, closing my true self off a little bit was okay
Had its ups and downs and it’s karma in the end.

Every moment was spent questioning if doing this and or that was an okay thing to do
Like second guessing if rehab was the best option for a lethal addiction
It felt like the action of making a big decision like so was an everyday occurrence.
Zoning out in class, zoning out at home, zoning out anywhere
Accompanied my second guessing, they paired well together
Baffling my mind that two would mesh so well together in the slightest.
Eventually, after years of playing hide and seek with my true self in the dark
The realization that I had morphed myself into someone I was truly not came quicker than I had ever dreamt
Hiding the real me fully in the big chamber I created in the back of my mind was never my intention

Keeping the key in case of emergencies though was
Embarking on the journey back to this chamber, raking through thoughts, wonders, questions whirling around in my skull
Everything you could think of, happens everyday, and will happen everyday
For the day I finally reach my destination I longed for for so many years
Everything will feel at peace, and I will finally have the confidence to be myself.