There once was a hamster who was not there,
He was not really anywhere.

He scurried and burrowed and chattered and crawled,
I swear I could hear him inside of my walls.

He crept all around and even whispered to me,
"I know your dark secrets, but they're safe as can be".

The hamster was growing, bigger, unkind,
Using as food, the thoughts in my mind.

I started to hate his vicious demeanour,
As he grew fatter, my soul grew leaner.

I devised a great plan to end his existence,
A quite dark plan, that needed persistence.

I cleaned my handgun and put one in the chamber,
Raising it to my head, my breathing was laboured.

A tear stained note, was pinned to my chest,
Just one final thing before I could rest.

With one last, great push, I pulled the stiff trigger,
Safe in the knowledge he would grow no bigger.