when she was a junior,
things were out of control.
and her days were spent,
living in secrets,
trying to figure out,
exactly who she was,
and what she was doing,
and why she felt the way she did.
and she spent her time thinking,
about the things she kept inside,
and wondering how long,
she could keep carrying the weight,
of unspoken words.
and she was never there,
when her dad came home from work.
and she ate dinner in a different house,
with a different family,
and everything was exciting,
and new,
and she didn't have to ask,
if she could be excused,
but she did anyway.
and she didn't have to help,
with all the chores,
but she did the dishes anyway.
and afterwards,
the two best friends would sneak,
into the back bedroom,
and they would do things,
that two girls
should not do.
and they would explore things,
that made her uneasy.
and before she went to sleep,
in a house that was not hers,
she would get a kiss "goodnight",
but it wasn't from her mom.
and she would think about the secrets,
that she always kept inside.
and things were out of control.