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Jun 2018
As I sit and stare
From my lonely bar chair
While enjoying a casual captain and coke
filling the room with my cigarette smoke
I notice that, in my lonesome, dreary world
I am but a seed among redwoods

I cant comprehend the conundrum that is life
I've been at the edge of the reapers scythe
Caving in to the pressure and strife
Living under the dim, florescent bar lights.

I didn't come from a broken home
But I did create one of my own
In my mind, where no light shone,
In the deepest sanctum, my awareness had undergrown

I sheltered myself, locked away in a cage
Any thoughts of moving on I saved for another page.
I wrapped around the idea that I couldn't make it out on life's stage
21 was the end of the line for me
And going any further I had forbade

But, before I had realized
I rose from the ashes
Overcame the obstacles
And really took in life as is passed

Each fleeting memory I had I grasped it
I now understand how i got here
I've turned my life around, the drugs, the *****, the pain and everything that masked it
I trashed it. I dont want it, I dont need to have it

Here I am.
Moments in front of my parents garage
Suitcases packed,
Friends and family arrive to send me off with a "bon voyage"

I finally got it
The key to happiness was right in front of me
I've had it all along but somewhere I had lost it
I dont know why it was so difficult to see

It's that, we pave our own paths
And anything that is trying to stop us
Is only temporary,
We may hurt from the mistakes in our past
But as long as you are able to get up and own who you are now
Then you will forever be set free
Overcoming your past and your own mind are huge feats for some. For me they had been my most dangerous adversaries. But when you lose it all and are given this clean slate, you can make anything possible, you will find you will do whatever it takes to finally be happy. You have the chance to seize every opportunity to turn your life around for the better and you'll only stay put if you chose to stay there.
Jaron Chandler
Written by
Jaron Chandler  25/M/In my head
(25/M/In my head)   
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