Can’t help feeling
As I’m staring at the ceiling
And my reality is peeling
Because I am thinking
And reeling
And stealing insecurities in my mind
The clock ticks, and there goes time

No one really knows me
There, I said it
As no one can measure the depth of the sea
No one knows me
Not even my family

When you look at me, what do you see?
Quiet, hiding in corners
There’s no way around her, you’d have to pay a fine to cross the border
Her voice never raising above a whisper
You think you know her
But you miss her

I don’t smile
I do smile, but only once in awhile and when I’m feeling wild and like a child
But my expressions are limited
Far from being riveted
If I look unhappy I’m probably not
So if I look happy; I’m caught
Because, thought it’s happiness I sought, I’m not

Sometimes, with my close friends
They’ll get a glimpse of my energy
Running around in circles, punching out the enemy
There I smile, there I laugh
There my brockade is slipping, and I’m not as docile as a cat

But even then - even they
Don’t know me
The nectar of the flowers has never touched the bee
There is so much in my mind
So many dimensions, so many lines
If I were to tell you everything that’s in there, we’d run out of time
There are the corners full of regrets, of aspirations
I have so many dreams but lately I’ve been fraying at the seams and it’s hard to see or believe in me when there are so many vacations

I don’t even know if I know me
Some days I’m an introvert
Some days I’m an extrovert
Some days I lie and sit
Other days I never quit

Some days I’m silent
Some days I’m vibrant
Some days I’m lonely
I know I’m not the only one
But it feels that way sometimes

It’ll take a lifetime, probably, to figure myself out
It scares me how I’m a mystery even to myself