It seemed like we have lost our polarity,
I see myself as the ultimate taker,
I've crossed the line, I'm a loser.

As my thoughts and feelings go random and futuristic,
doubts fill my inner shed, my body falling on a downward *****,
abusing self through never ending cigar smoke.

My feelings went cold without quick notice,
Seeking something fresh and challenging.
I failed my own trust. almost brittle, bending

Sliding down, I'm losing a trusted friend.
not seeking someone but I've aged a lot.
Just too old to play games.

Too matured to believe in this so called "In-time" Stories.
I am in an improved state wherein I go for the best.
Future's not like a blindfolded man in a bulletproof vest.

Can be short term but extreme happiness,
I want to hold confidence and presence.
Something I can't see, maybe a definite absence.

Something dominant I can't see in you.
Something you're in that I can't join in
Something ******* inside my head

Patiently waiting the world to turn one eighty
Still I am stuck without a progress.
holding into something I can't be best,

Living and dying with everyday happenings,
Hoping to get through this test.