Feeling so cold and alone, I could be a reference to a stone. My heart torn apart, not filled with love but shards. I can't look forward anymore, because all that I can see is the past within me. A thousands times I was hurt, been standing alone at the court of a judgemental source. I've got your word and all these from those others too, but it wasn't ever worth, well that's actually also nothing new.

If I could speak, I would yell out my hate and every single word which got thrown, I might not be able to make any noises, but trust me I will always remember these voices. YOU'RE STUPID, yes I know. YOU'RE NOTHING, if that's what you say, YOU'RE USELESS ANYWAY.

One night I was dreaming, but woke up because I heard my mother screaming. I've been sneaking to their room, and I was silently standing there, but everything I saw was our doom. I saw my mother with a knife, she was about to take my father's life. She was helpless and she couldn't continue anymore, so I saw my father dropping to the floor. She looked at me because I started crying, and when she saw me shaking, I could feel her heart breaking.

She pulled out the knife of my father's chest, and shoved it between her *******, but before she did, she has spoken her lasts words. She also dropped to the floor, both were death, I was still standing at the door, hearing nothing but my own breath. Since this day I've remained silent and didn't ever say a single word, instead I put my thoughts and feelings on paper, while writing this text from the psychiatry as a self proclaimed psychedelic shaper.