did he think it would be easy 
to pick her up off her feet?

she is spiteful, lazy, and weak
she is unfaithfully trying-- 
half asleep

but he comforts her repeating- 
"you'll feel better, go outside, in the sun," he quickly says 
staring at her 

she swears it won't shine--despite the weather
whether she is too heavy in the suns rays 
or carrying her self-hate, hiding from 
the sun's gaze,

he arrives home to watch her break 
and he gazes through the mess she makes

he is heavy
holding her close
he is tired giving her a dose

in her daze--
"i'm ok, i don't need it" she boasts
it's these kinds of day's he hates the most

when he wakes, he's thinking 
"work will be long," as he's dressing

as he glances over her
at the clock
he's thinking that he's running late 

as he glances over at her
"yes, i'm sure she's recovering" 
even if he recalls her cycle of words, the night before 

the quotes of happiness
[grief, sickness, death, the end"] 
then beams of happiness
...she keeps changing

but "it will...be easy," he is thinking, 
as he steps quietly away, while yawning.