I need a distraction
so I gather all the things that make sound
I make it loud to bind the thoughts that quiver in my head
I want to fill my ears with white noise
I want to suffocate the pain that brews in my heart
I need to be distracted
so I find greens that burn
I stuff bowls until I am stoic
I breath in smoke till I am completely silent
I listen to music with no words
I read books with no meaning
I walk miles with no end
but I've slipped
I heard a song with lyrics
"someone else, I hate to think of you with someone else"
it was a catalyst to which I've worked so hard to oppress
like dominoes my walls came crashing down
I'd hate to think of you with someone else
but I don't think I ******* see
you held a gun to my face and forced me to load it with bullets
you are with someone else
and you won't let me forget it
I'd hate to think about you with someone else
but it's all I do with this gun to my head and my own hand pulling the trigger
you're a ******* ***** and you are with someone else
boom