My wound starts bleeding at 10
The ecstasy, the pain
A dramatic withdrawal
leaving side effects everywhere
You left a hole in me
You are no good to me
But it is so intense I cannot think

When you come close to me
it's intoxicating
if you catch me off my guard
I get lost

do you remember emotional ******?
do you remember me obsessed
do you remember us?
the girl like a rose in a vase

And when you come close it feels odd
because you've never been here
it is a brutal inversion of the order of things
It feels like going too deep, into the spiral of being
You and I - we will never be
but ah, the shadow of what could and never is...

It is something big that makes me smile
but it's a speed i am not used to drive
it feels like coming to a home lost time ago
so much it is not your home anymore

Untidy pestilent mind after all this
I went too far, digging with words into me
Trauma crystalizing, too much I've lived