i am not a ******* afterthought
and you are not my only option
and i should not feel this way.
i should not be looking at him
and i should not want anyone but you
but that's not the way it is.

the way it is is that i feel like
a burden
and i shouldn't.
the way it is is that i should be able to tell you this
and work it out
and i can't.

the way it is is that i don't know what to do
and i don't know who to love
and i don't know who it is that loves me.

and i should.