depends on me for sustenance,
companionship, and reassurance.
she's like every other partner I've ever had

She comes everywhere with me
she walks around the lake with me
and loves to visit the strange mountains.
she leaves when i ignore the truth.

Today I spent hours
watching thick peels of clouds
raking shadows on one another
without crying,
then I told my doctor exactly how I feel.

My body scars so easily
but has never been broken
it's pointless to despair
no matter how old you are.

My nerves are alive, behind my teeth, in my tear ducts
i'm a shivering rabbit ready to bolt
seeing everywhere with my wide ears
for a sign of Danger, dressed in disguise.
her angry love emerges from the humus
whispering like a father:
"Lie down before you hurt yourself."
"Why did you try to lift so much?"
it replays all the stupid, lazy, selfish
**** I've done in the past 6 months
"Why are you still ******* around with that?"

Hold the door open for your friends
then give them some misdirection as they pass.
you must be the first genius in the world to think of it:
avoiding vulnerability by any means necessary.
all attempts to justify my behavior fall short of conviction.
i align my ethics with my actions when it's most convenient.
(and, as I'm reminded, only amidst the most detailed instruction.)
Danger knows I almost believe it.

But we both know I'm a hypocrite
i may never have stopped stealing from animals
without all the recipes other people have written.
the militant voice would've insisted, "It's Impossible!
humans didn't evolve to limit their nutritional pool!
and you're already shuffling half-assed through work and school!
Just think of something else to make you frown,
cut your losses and leave this large-small town.
They are nature's slaves caught unawares."

So who notices? And even then, who cares?