I don't want always.
I just want something.
A promise to sleep again at night.
I warned you of the consequences
Of stringing me along,
But I'm still not sure that you heard me.
I promise. I will break your knee-caps if you hurt me.

Sometimes I lie awake
And go through day-by-day
Up until the moment you said,
"I Love you."
I wonder if it was true.
Or if I had something to do
with it.
Like a catalyst.
Pushing you to the point of no return.

I despise my feelings.
They haunt me.
They taunt me.
I can't shake them no matter how I try.

It's not fair.
I didn't ask for this.
I didn't even ask for you.
This was all your doing.
You offered me help.
You told me where to go.
You wanted coffee.
You chose to talk to me.
It was you that wanted to play things out.
It was your idea to date me.
You said, "I Love You."
And, "Will you visit me in Oregon?"
I didn't choose to fall in Love.
I didn't want this to happen.
Because I know that things don't work out.
At least not for me.
But I let you in.
I said yes.
I trusted you with everything I had.
I dreamed of a future I never thought I could have.
With you.
Because of you.

So I'm sorry that I'm going a little crazy.
But I don't fall in Love everyday.
And you expecting me to be okay
With you saying that I have to wait,
Is the most terrifying thing.

Just remember:
You did this to me.
Whatever happens next.
Whatever hits the fan.
It's all on you, baby.
Because I did nothing.