promise not to leave
remember what I did
I should have been the one to go,
to die
they didn't deserve to die
they wanted me to join them
I refused
they punished them
because of me

I'm dying now
I know it
Soon I'll be gone
be free from the noises in my head
the screams and cries
the shouts of betray

the memories still flash before my eyes
the sadness
the tears that ran down their faces
I still feel the pain
from the broken skin on my hand
from the punches and kicks
from the children's cries