My dreams have filtered you in again.
I thought for a second it was safe to sleep.
When I close my eyes, it’s always your face I see.

I open my eyes and stare into blue.
I see your mouth form the words,
“I love you.”

Like an idiot, I smile.
Like a fool, I believe.
Like a child, I trust.

When I wake up I am shaken,
Because I let you in.
I thought I got rid of these memories,
But you keep finding a way to break in.

These memories are painful,
You and me,
Skin on skin,
Tangled beneath the sheet.

Your lips on my neck,
My hands on your back,
Your breath on my skin,
My heart beating fast.

This is making my head spin.
I’m sliding down the wall.
I’m sitting here staring blankly,
As my heart relives it all.

I can’t stop my breath from catching.
I can’t stop the tears as they fall.
The good isn’t all that I see.
The bad won’t be stalled.

These memories are wrecking me,
Me and you,
Yelling and shouting,
Slamming separate doors.

My tears spilling into my hands,
Your form silhouetted in the hall,
My hands shaking,
You walking out that door.

My head is pounding,
I’m feeling very sick,
I’m sitting here on my knees
Heaving these memories,
To flush away.

Finally I am breathing,
The tears have gone,
The movie is over,
But I’m still alone.

There will always be a million “what if’s”.
There will always be a memory of you,
But if I can stand up after this?
I can get over you.

As I lay down in bed,
I’ll turn the light off,
I’ll take that deep breath,
And close my eyes again,
And let my mind wander with ease.