I am hesitant to flesh this thought out,

the same way I was hesitant to extend a peer in your direction,

or widening an opening in the wall I've put between us enough
for us to both prepare a meal in the same kitchen

I sighed in defeat and set down my beer,
(which I was actively using to put out fires in my chest)

Advanced toward the kitchen,
and felt time slow,

11 year old me was bursting right through my 20 year old skin
because right in the same room,
in the same house,
was a heart he knew and couldnt forget.

And now he sits inside me,
torn and triggered by a living memory,

I suppose I write this now more for him than myself,
I hope one of us finds some relief,

There is so much more to be happy for,
and nothing to be sad over,

I just wonder about the opportunities as she does.
this proves my confusion with these feelings.