I woke up last night to a flash of thunder. The sound of lightning trickling down my bedroom windows, casting shadows as cover for the bugs that crawl over my brain.

In the cascading boom of nature that came crashing through my room, I caught a glimpse of the rain swimming through the air. And for a moment I thought I could swim too.

I thought that for once I could let go of my nightmares, that as the sky gasped in awe I could succumb to the overwhelming power of chaos and unclench my fingers, white-knuckle gripped to the horrors that comfort me.

Then the storm passed.

In the distance I felt a low murmur, not even a rumble anymore as the superheated air exploded in the clouds above me. Even though every boom rattled the skin from my bones, I felt empty.

The thunder flashed in the distance as long slow bolts of lightning traced themselves from existence into memory. I couldn't sleep the rest of that night.

Each distant roar from the mouth of God  themself. A reminder to me of the demons that couldn't be shaken from me even in God's wake.

So I sit and wonder if the evil lurking inside of me even can be afraid of God. If the mistakes I made choose not to hide from the almighty because there is no dominion over sins, only sinners.