I carry earbuds with me all the time. They are the only solution to my problem. The ringing. The sirens in my head refuse to stop. The only way to fight it is with sound. Connected vibrations, creating a beautiful noise. The music blocks out the ongoing scream. No consistency, just the awful frequency. Like being shot with the radio beam. It's like people in my head that won't stop screeching. Or someone finally sounding the alarm, For the dumpster fire in my head.
They say I caused it by listening to too much music. They told me I could stop it, if I kept the headphones off, the earbuds out, the play button on pause. But I put them on, put them in, and hit play.
I fight fire with fire. I turn the volume higher. The pain comes and goes, just like me. Show up one day, only to leave. I've created a problem, where the only solution is the cause.
m s s u s o o i c u u i s n n u m d d
The tinnitus in my head just goes to show how it really is.