Always hurting, feels like I'm crucified,
today and yesterday, I wish that I had died.
My smiles and my "I'm okays,"
I'm sorry but I lied.
I asked for self-esteem, they said I had enough,
Don't they ever know, my times are really rough.
I'm falling to the dirt,
tears falling to my shirt,
pretend that you care,
doesn't matter, I have lost my ember flare.
I'd like to hurt myself, my past I'd like to dwell,
got a mask full of smiles, I'm just an empty shell.
I hear my funeral, I hear the church bell.
How I'm feeling I can never tell.
I'm in denial, don't want to face this trial,
I just want forgiveness but I don't know how.