My best is half as good,
But that is to be expected from a girl
Whose parents never made her feel confident about living with a person
For the rest of your life.
I feel alone a lot,
And I am dependent on human connection only when
I start to feel misplaced by the universe.
I think in terms of galaxies rather than people,
Rather than in terms of me.
I'm useless-
But only because people can't use me.
They don't want to.
Why would they?
My hurt is not very visible,
But there is a lot of it in there.
Sometimes I play connect the scars
With my imagination,
And I remember I've failed in every aspect of my life,
Because I failed in one aspect of my life.
I'm tired of motivational social media posts,
And there are times where I don't like being around anyone.
I do not know how I am supposed to live with a person for the
Rest of my life.
I love someone,
But my best is half as good.
I like sitting in the dark in my solitude,
Because I feel like I'll be alone forever, and I am trying to prepare.
I want to be prepared for it-
So I can tell myself I'm happy,
So I can tell myself I'm meant for it.
I am tired of questioning if I can survive,
Or if my bedroom is my safe space,
If I will have this window view forever.
I am here because I feel like I failed you,
And if you are going to love me,
You should know this is how I feel at 8:39
On a Good day.
I'm tired because my Depression is still a piece of me and I'm
Ignorant.
I laugh about it,
Because I do not want anything to be too serious anymore.
I am a writer because I am Sad,
I am creative because I am Sad,
And you can't ever be Sad like me.
I am watching lightning out my window
And thinking,
How beautiful would it be if I could do that for you?
I cry a lot,
More than normal, I think.
I want to know if you are going to love me.