The overwhelming need lessened from scorching
Soothed down to a fizzle
I want to reach for your hand,
Your hair and pull you close.
Kiss and stroke your face
Take sweet sips from the coolness of your mouth.

The lack of a fever is disturbing
I step back to find my eyes are not blinded.
You are not distorted, do not tower over me
You are not toxic masculinity.
My heart isn’t a caged animal dying in terror
But a fluttering bird that chirps sweetly.

I crave the gentle interest
Want not just your body, but I want to see life with you
Through your eyes.
An old woman crooning to this young one.

I wish to press into you and feel curious.
But I do not reach for you
My fingers have not curled in your hair
Nor my lips chilled by yours.

I watch you and see the way the edges of your eyes crinkle
How your tongue presses at the back of your front teeth when you laugh
The surety of your walk as you move away.

My voice lies silent and I am afraid.
I’ve not felt this soft curiosity, tinged with physical hunger
Do you?
Should I reach out even with the possible price of being ignored
Hand held out in empty space
The hurtful squeeze of disappointment.

Do you think of me?
Will you remember me in the passing months?
Is this affection without the gnawing heat in my bones?