The sky is darkening
I am rushing
My heart is palpitating
Maybe, it will be raining
I'm getting near the main entrance
I suddenly pictured the notebook with all my dances
I remember everything I wrote on it entirely
Step 1, 2, 3, 4
There goes 5, 6, 7, and 8
I just ate words from the lesson plans I created
Shooting videos out of pleasant messiness
My feet want to move backwards
But my brain says, go, and move forward
Afraid to be late
I want to annihilate everything in the notebook
Put checks and tick marks
to the never ending bookshelves
Wait a second, I should reward myself a booklet
The mirror does not tell me I'm beautiful
The weighing scale tells me to gain more
The clothes I wear scream of looseness
Even eating becomes a chore, for as long as I can remember
Intensely focused on any of the tasks
Go on! Test my patience!
I do not remember its existence!
does not make me surrender
finishing the game makes me stronger
Give me some more, go on! Make me surrender.
As I am writing this, I picture me with you
You who has yet to come
Or You who I haven't noticed
These thoughts of me without You
These thoughts of undying load
They Burden my soul with the nearing truth of lonesomeness
Songs run in my head, ... something that goes, "... I'm wasting away"
"Rise up" makes me wake up
I'm numb of my "BUSY" buzzing like the bees
I cannot even remember my lonesomeness
Each step I make
I move forward, yet backward to the dreams of not having you
Every wave of my hands settle my mediocre acquaintances
How could I let myself be weary, and hurt, and suffering, and accused of many instances.