My DOC...
drug of choice

Our friendship was awesome at first at least
Before you became that monster that beast

You said we would not love anyone else
For you could teach me how to not love myself

Then we could do anything for now nothing mattered.  
You took my good life and we watched it slowly shatter.

At first I dumped other souls at my feet, gambling daily if I’d survive in the forever after gorging heat.  

Soon those thoughts too got all left behind as we bonded and I paid you one mind strip at a time

I forget when you became the boss and I just a number.  But when  apart for too long I cried out for your thunder

My features were molding to how I was feeling.   You were the only friend who found me appealing.

During our times together we didn’t laugh but I cried
I got a degree on how good I could lie

Over the years I froze in the sun and watched the clanking of bars and you  made me believe that it was all in the stars.

But now I am smelly and shaky and feeling like ****
If you don’t show up soon I may as well quit


Songs and smells are doing their best to help you to stay

I’ve locked my door to help me keep you at bay

Now my mind is made up - I’m going to find me again
What was I thinking you were never a friend

Your deceitful kind will never get me to bow
For starting this second I am the boss of me now
-written by-
Leilani Gesch
April 16, 2018