In paradisum
deducant te Angeli

our young voices
sang out sweetly
sounding
like the angels
we invoked

"May the Angels lead you to paradise"

my heart cracked
a little more each time

it was supposed to be an honor
to sing the funeral mass
but amidst sad and lovely music
I heard the crying
felt the grief

from the choir loft you could hear them
sobbing down below
as the priest's solemn chanting
echoed all around

you could see the casket
near the altar
adorned in purple
draped in black

you could smell
the burning candles,
the incense
and the flowers

once when I heard a child cry
it was more than I could take
my tears flowed with the mourners
I was choked
and couldn't sing

all the pain I could imagine,
all anguish
and despair
crept in and
fully broke

what had been merely cracks

from then I never found the music
lovely

so much more than sad
it was bitter and disturbing

to a young
impressionable
mind