I never know when it's going to be
the last time that you're around.
We embrace in my over-sized bed
without making a sound,
and stare intently -
not only in each others eyes,
but at everything we can see.
Both pairs of eyes darting hard
across our faces, desperately
trying to memorize every crease,
every hair, and every freckle.
I bite my tongue to hold back the tears
as I break away my eyes
from your soul searching,
and you clench your furry jaw -
because you know
I'm hurting.

Whether we have ***, stay friends,
or stop talking completely -
              It will never get better...

      Not while you're with her.