Echoes
Muted and bouncing
Reaching me delayed.

My hands hazy and grey
Colourless.

Lifting my eyes
Opaque clouds above
Mists and shadow below

Still the echoes
Are reaching me.

Try to take a step toward the voices

I fall
The darkness writhing and curling
Around my feet and legs
Bound.

I open my mouth
To scream
The shadows flooding down my throat
Stealing the sound.

The clouds descend
Heavy on my shoulders
All encompassing.

I struggle to my feet.
My muscles and bones screaming
I manage a step
Crumpling to my knees
Exhausted.

The voices take shape

‘What’s wrong?’
‘Talk to me?’
‘Tell me how to help?’
‘I don’t understand ‘
‘Just think happy thoughts’
‘Make changes, take steps’

I open my soundless mouth
Try to bellow the words
Into the heavy cold dark
Try to tell them

Help Me!

I am trapped and can’t find the way out.

Desperate
I reach through the cloud
Arms shaking with effort
I reach toward
The last haven
The last heaven
My heart, ma coeur
My cherished summer
For some light and warmth.

As I reach
Sightless
I feel the threads of shadows
Snake up my arms
Flooding from my mouth
Reaching for him with sharp cold
Clawing fingers
Trying to claim
His golden heart through me.

I withdraw
Eyes wide with fear
Ma coeur is not safe near me.

The voices of others
Who have fallen by my greyed hands
Cut through the shadows
Piercing my bloodless heart.

‘I’m just going to go’
My hearts voice says
‘I’ll leave you to it.’

I empty my lungs
As I try to beg him not to go
With only eerie silence
To reward my efforts

Sobbing voiceless in the quiet
Shadows feathery movements
Drink every tear.

The sun turns away,
I feel the muted heat
Fade.
I commit the last sounds of his laugh to memory
And do the right thing
At last.

I let go.

Cold,
I curl into myself.

The shadows
My only company.

Darkness, be my friend,
I plead
As it claims me once again.