I am not the best
But some say I am not the worst.
I don’t believe them.
Just because your lies are covered
In a thick layer of beauty
Doesn’t make them any less than what they already are.
My voice rarely makes an appearance.
When it does,
It is quiet and shaky.
My legs refused to stand
In front of people that are nothing to me.
I care too much what people think.
Why does that affect my ability to
Think
Speak
Stand
Walk.
It impairs my mind.
It penetrates my already thin skin
Attacking my brain
And telling me
They are laughing at me
They are looking at me.
They are judging me.
They hate me.
They want me dead.
Want me dead.
Me dead.
Dead.
I should give them what they want.
Maybe then, they will like me.
That's all I wanted.
I look in the mirror and
Laugh with them
Judge myself with them
Hate myself with them.
I want myself dead,
Just like them.
Anxiety is going to ******* **** me.