i remember giving you the cutest nicknames in the world.
lovebug made you hold my hand and pull me close.
baby made you look into my sad eyes and smile.
apple pie made you say those three words that would save my life.

i remember holding your hand.
how your cheeks would turn the most beautiful rose pink.
how my heart would literally bang my chest to hold you too.

i remember how being around you felt like autumn in texas.
it reminded me of all the good times and how the times we spent together were 10 times better.

but it all fades you see,
slowly then all at once.
one day we woke up and you realized that for the past five years,
you want to stay behind,
in the past,
with every nightmare and empty cup of coffee was.

pulling my arm to stay behind too,
i couldn't.

looking back i would've done it differently.
i would've sat next to you and continued to burn pieces of my heart and soul for you to make light in the darkness you wanted to live in.