Whether I'm black or blue
Whether I'm true to me
Or true to you
I can't help but feel like I'm being used by you
You take and take and give a little but I'm satisfied
Everybody around me not knowing why
Why do my insecurities run my life
And you could give me no attention but I'd still be walking 2 feet behind
You act like you're not good enough
****
I'm a ******* mess with a big heart
That's not enough
If you told me to come over and smoke you up
I'd be there
You don't realize that I'm ******* scared
My demons are just waiting to reappear
And how the **** am I supposed to control myself
Alone by myself
Trying to find pills to **** myself
How come when I need somebody they're all gone
If you called me right now I'd walk through the storm in my brain just to be next to you
If you're not giving me the best of you
Why do I stick around so long
I always find myself giving too much
And then I **** myself up
You're going on a date
So I pour another drink
That makes sense
Why can't I just tell you that it bugs me when you talk about all the guys who don't really see you
I could write a list of all the things I like about you
And if you died right now I'd probably die too
You just want a guy who won't really love you
But I love you
I stand on my own but still want to be next to you
You ignore me when we're apart but smile when I see you
Don't stand too close to me I'll want to be close to you
******* I want to be close to you
Sometimes I feel so connected then I feel unattached from you

I'm drunk and you're sleeping
You're stressed and I'm reaching

If you would open up I could stop the flood
But I'm gone

You always play this game
But I'm not equipped for it
These guys don't even know
When I open up just know I'm real
Sometimes I know how you feel
Other times I'm not sure if it's real
Or you just need to feel something

If I'm fading don't make me wait for you
Stay with me or let me leave
I'm dying quickly

Please recuse me