doctor says take a pill everyday and you’ll start to feel like yourself again.
normal even.

day 1 pill 1. i don’t seem to feel any different. do i? maybe i do? i don’t know.
day 8 pill 7. i missed a dose and felt nothing maybe these pills don’t really have an affect.
day 14 pill 13. i’m feeling happier. it’s good to feel this way again.
day 20 pill 19. i’m possibly euphoric.
day 32 pill 30. missing a pill makes my head feel woozy.
day 49 pill 47. happiness is a chemical influence. i’ve been feeling numb towards the worst of situations.
day 63 pill 61. i have mastered the art of losing. losing to these little white drugs taking over my mind and body day by day. i feel helpless against my attackers.
day 64 pill 62. this ecstatic behaviour is not normal. my mind is filled with thoughts that cannot get expressed. my body expresses my happiness but not my fear, my pain or my anger.
day 65 pill 63. i definitely feel different. no ifs and or buts, i most certainly feel different. is it a good type of different though?
day 66 pill 63. i’ve missed a dose again, but this time on purpose. i refuse to take another pill. my mind is gone and my body is deteriorating with it.
day 132 pill 63. i am myself again. This is me, i may not be the definition of perfection, but bit by bit i’ve realized no one can be. not everyone is like this. maybe i'm one of the lucky ones.

-mb