Getting out of the endless cycle
is what drove me to get out of it

I never saw myself as qualified
though some said I exhale excellence

I had never understood beauty in myself,
though I had always seen it as a possession of the envious

To perform in the language you speak
was to become my only goal

To sacrifice happiness for the fading scent of lilies and matches,
to throw myself in an abyss for the last time.

Paradise, 2018