Every ounce I drink
My face melts away
My eyes sink lower
Smiles yellow
Liver disintegrates

Memories fly away
Mind glides to the next
day doing the next operation
Worrying about nothing but
the next commitment.
Deep breathing, suppressing.
Smiling, holding in the deepest
breath. Asphyxiation.
A tight knoose. Kept loose enough
to make the next decision.

I feel every minute of my being,
being lived every moment. To a certain extent, a chokehold.
I want you to be the happiest,
the unseen celebration.
The best of
you're life.

The unthinkable, your next
step to where you want to be.
beyond me.