we've all got something,
an old feeling we're chasing...
vivid memories cling to me
persons, places, and things
I know they only matter to me
like crisp night bike rides down dimly lit residential streets
but I want to share them.
remember them.
make someone feel something
like I did
all those nights ago...
feels like re-watching my favorite show...
or I don't know
it's nostalgia baby
I'm the nostalgia lady
the overwhelming abstract familiarity
of something you once knew...
when I get those nostalgic scents
I feel it, doesn't matter what it is
bus engine exhaust reminds me of when my heart was still his.
condensation on coke bottles remind me of the cold floor
the cracked door
the drunk 20-somethings, such a bore...
when I was in middle school
I used to write the hockey player's jersey numbers
on my hands and notebooks when I thought they were cute
some people would catch on, they got real rude
back the ******* dude  
why are you looking
I'd pretend it was my lucky number
that it was only coincidence
I'd say, you better not tell him
they always did
fourteen years old, I couldn't tell you what love was
don't know if even I could now
some days I think I just might hate you
being wrapped up in your delusions is gonna break you
think you're too far gone for them to make you better
and I just keep thinking about other ****...
why do I think life would be easier if I was skinnier?
what a ******* trainwreck...
nostalgia for lighter days,
I'm high for days on end...
I can't pretend I'm on the mend to make you feel better
anxiety says the old me feels best, but I want to forget her
I'm tripping on expectations of future lovers
as if I've already met them
I'd like to call them my future canker sores
after the crash and burn we'll be gargling salt water
turn and spit
repeat and pick up where we left off when we get bored
scars are scores
I'll just get high to Lana
act like I don't give a **** about your new lover
in some new poem about how you ****** me up for good