Broken
Everything is broken
My lungs wont fill with air
My eyes wont cry
My heart
My heart is full to bursting
Full of an ocean of salty waves crashing up and down and sideways and all over
So heavy
So swishy, swirly, salty
Makes me dizzy
My brain wont take oxygen
I get light headed and I cant see straight
Broken
I'm so broken
And it's not that I can't feel, can't love, can't be happy
It's that I don't want to
I have no desire to
You aren't here
No more laugh
Crazy silly funny laugh
No more hugs
Long warm hugs
No more kisses
Soft, sweet, sensual kisses
Oh, your kisses
No more you
Your brain
Your imagination, your humor
Your sarcastic ******* remarks trying to hide your sweet, sweet love
Oh, your love
No more love, not from you
So I don't want to love
To be happy
To have warmth and smiles and joy flowing through my heart
I want the waves
The heavy, crashing waves that carry the weight of the world
Can't breathe
Can't cry
Can't laugh
Can't even be truly sad
Not without you
Because it was me who left
Not you
When I fell, I got up and ran
I didn't let you hold me
Kiss me
Hug me
Calm the waves in my heart
I just left
So no, I don't want anything but the heavy, crashing waves trying to break through my chest and start my breathing back, but always failing, always trapped inside my thick, stupid, beating, drowning heart
My heart
Broken