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Apr 2018
Docs think they can cure and make me feel better,
come up with a solution to life's problems
assess me with another mental disorder,
put it to order with my letter and GP report along with my prescription, 100mg lamotrigine once a month medication
to numb the daily pain.
It feels like a gun shot to the brain!
Moods rising and falling caused by shock and trauma
what exactly happened mind was wiping out the physical and mental torture!

It doesn't quieten the voices if anything just eradicate my memory now I get blanks in my head
family and friends have to fill in the gaps and scenes
that are now missing. I become constantly hungry and incomplete numb feeding myself those pills to keep my emotions asleep, docile quiet and unfulfilled quivering with shakes and sweats
had to wait to collect my tabs at the medical centre
you know what one day I came into see my psychiatrist with a new perspective and conclusion meds can not cure me
their the brain's bicycle stabilisers to keep it trekking along
and not falling into the realm of unknown and into the great beyond but i know some natural remedies to alleviate me.

He nodded you've done research Miss Leiser. Your go far should go into teaching or be a therapy. Do you want to hear the 5 natural remedies to remember
1. acceptance of what has just happened can't be changed the horror of ****** trauma. I went through when I was 21 feeling helpless and weak, couldn't speak, was in shock!

Crying and feeling alone. I could either be the victim drowning myself in beer and punishing myself every year

letting him and the voices win blaming myself and living in guilt and fear that I could have acted and stopped it asked for help instead of suffering in silence

or be warrior that will overcome accept past is over, calm my anger and forgive the man that did this to me. Believe it or not he hasn't changed but I've been the better person by not reacting to the rage and negative voices -

*****, ****, *****.

At one point I wanted him to feel my pain and punch the ******* down and for him to do time for committing the crime. What would be the the point of seeking revenge it will only get the pigs on me and will the anger make me any better than him.
In the end I accepted an half hearted apology but whether he has learnt his lesson is unknown. I will let karma deal with him and he'll stay the **** away me will not let him or anyone get to me again!

No one will lead me astray  will not end up sick in the hospital or alone in the gutter. Don't let the haters bring you down, now changed my way of thinking - been keeping positive, ignore deception, ******* and lies.

2nd natural cure build my creativity write and help people with rhymes and build up moral and educate people on mental health and good decency. Making people laugh with sharp wit and tips.

Third remedy - exercising my body - walking in the sunshine eating good food and looking after my diet.  

and finally forth remedy  meditation and relaxation - cleansing my charkas, releasing the negative energy being made aware of the energy vampires that surround every day there the best cures you can master in order to get better faster.
Kimberley Leiser
Written by
Kimberley Leiser
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