You are *******
I was there in a pale blue
Doodling
It was there that you told me I should be storyboarding.

I drew on my face
I drew on yours too
You did a photoshoot of me in the tub on your camera phone
We were the nymph queen and king
You said.

I watched us glimmer like shadows
Into the wood
Your dog, now since passed
Running, leaping
I put my elbows on our little balconies edge
We ate pumpkin cornflakes
Pumpkin pop tarts
Drove around in someone else's car
Our first vacation.

My hair was several colors then
Actually, no
Just purple
I got it braided real nice
I remember the snap shots you took
You were always taking pictures of me taking pictures.

I've had many a lover
And I still quietly choke up
Over the way that you harmed me in the end
And drove yourself so far into the ground
Away from everything I was
Everything we were.

You used to send me links to nice apartments
We'd fantasize
Talk about a babies room
I wanted so much.

Maybe too much for you at the time
I know now it was just never going to be me.

I wonder if you are happy
I remind myself between little swallows
That we are coming up on the time
That my parents split
And I packed my bags
Left you cold
You deserved it.

A trickle of trees
I ran into the wood crying
We took molly
Smoked ****
Drank wine
I exposed my heart to you
And still
A year later
I'm recovering
From being your doll


From fighting so hard to watch us only fall.