at the time
were you aware
of what was to come?
did you suspect
predict
what one first encounter
would do to your brain?
had you known
way back when
when life was still worth living
what would happen
in the more present past?
did you know
back when sanity was sane
that you would become
the epiphany of the anti-you,
christ,
did you know
you'd become
too terrible for words
for wine
to be blessed with the wash of the poor
and if you knew
who I'd be
would you
should you
had you
did you
change your mind
change your heart
it's hedonistic ******* ways
or is the pain
too electrically wired
to make you otherwise?